How Do You Respond to Conflict?

How do you handle conflict? Do you snap into complete mode and force your situation on others? If so, you risk losing respect and good will. If people accept your solution, it is likely to be only half-heartedly and they may even undermine it. So unless the other person is totally unimportant to you or the issue itself is hugely important, avoid imposing your solutions on people.

Perhaps, you automatically give in, or accommodate the other person. This ultimately saps your self-esteem and self-respect. Others quickly learn they can ‘walk over you’ because you let them. Unless the issue is of no importance to you, speak up for yourself.

Do you prefer to avoid conflict by ‘letting sleeping dogs lie’ or ‘sweeping it under the carpet’? Sometimes it is better to diplomatically sidestep an issue or postpone a discussion until a later time. However, people who prefer ‘peace at any price’, even when the issue or relationship with the other party is important, often find matters worsen over time. Everyone loses.

Are you often tempted to ‘split the difference’ and compromise? As quick and easy as this is, the result is often that no one is really satisfied and the underlying conflict smoulders on. Unless you’re looking for an interim solution or time is running out, you can often do better than settling for a quick fix.

Perhaps you are inclined to sit down and talk through your differences with the other person, exploring what each of you want and discussing various ways you can both be satisfied. This collaborating approach takes time, but preserves relationships and solves the real issues. Do you have the willingness to try good communication and problem-solving skills and the self-confidence and patience they take?

These five conflict management styles, summarised, are based on the work of Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann. They seem to be habitual: in other words, we tend to use the same one or two styles every time we find ourselves in a conflict situation.

The five ways to handle conflict are:

Is your usual conflict management style a helpful one? Will it help you develop effective working relationships with your colleagues, customers and work groups? Will it help ensure your own needs, as well as others’, are met? Do you need to improve your skills in using, any of them.

To turn conflicts into agreements, keep these questions in mind:

High Performance Coaching and training specialise in addressing these topics and can assist you. We run conflict resolution and team alignment workshops in-house that is designed around your current issues; and provide follow –up one-on-one coaching to support the candidate in building their self-confidence and communication skills.